If I were a pastor again at Christmastime

I’ve not pastored since the Spring of 2004, and so have the perspective of a good many years on this subject.

I have, of course, been in church all that time–for five years as director of missions for the SBC churches in the New Orleans area, retiring in 2009–and ever since.  Probably two-thirds of the Sundays have been preaching in churches far and wide, big and small, contemporary and traditional, impressive and otherwise. For the last 10 years, we’ve lived in the metro Jackson, Mississippi area and belonged to the great First Baptist Church, a congregation I served in my early 30’s.

I have always loved the Christmas season.  I enjoy the constant carols in the department stores (although I confess that Brenda Lee’s “Rock Around the Christmas Tree” and a couple other seasonal things have outlived their usefulness with me!) and browsing the stores and the displays some stores still make.

One night last week, I traveled 3 hours up and 3 hours back to hear the combined choirs of the Columbus MS churches present Handel’s “Messiah” at the Catholic Church.  It was beyond wonderful.

I’ve drawn hundreds of children at several schools and libraries this month, and preached a couple of times.

I don’t miss pastoring churches, but if I were the pastor during the Christmas season, here are a few things I would do…

–I would plan my calendar to include family time and ‘do nothing’ time. The human spirit needs such rest periods.

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Heaven is preposterous! that’s why it’s so good.

Imagine this conversation.

You’re on a distant planet, maybe in another galaxy.  And you are talking to a friend about the most wonderful planet either of you has ever imagined.

You: And this Earth, it’s supposed to be beautiful, right?  With glorious landscapes and fresh air and four seasons!  This planet is situated just the exact right distance from the sun to sustain life! And there are oceans and mountains, rivers and seashores, farms and villages and cities!  And I hear you can spend your days fishing or mountain-climbing or flying a kite! Oh, and the food is incredible, every kind imaginable!  Sounds good, doesn’t it? 

Your friend: You know this is preposterous, don’t you?

You:  Of course.  In the entire universe, there’s nothing else like it.  Look around.  Do you see anything like I’ve just described?  Most of the planets are either balls of hot rock or globes of fiery gases.

Who could imagine Earth?

And yet–here we are. Living on it, enjoying it, taking it for granted, as though it’s the most common thing in the universe.

We would tell our alien visitors, “Not only is there an Earth, but it is so perfect, once you get there, you can live in peace and comfort all your days–three score and ten and possibly beyond–without a single thought as to how it’s all happening.  If you like, you can spend your existence studying, say, the life of Abraham Lincoln or Winston Churchill, even trying to become a leader like them, without giving one thought to the air you breathe, the spinning of the Earth on its axis, the orbit it’s taking around the sun, the condition of the sun, or the journey of the Galaxy throughout the universe.”

And if your visitor says, “That’s preposterous,” you respond: “I know. Isn’t it wonderful?”

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Interesting thing about Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus

It was mid-way through December and I was telling a minister friend how I had preached on Joseph, the father of Jesus, the Sunday before. The message was all about obedience and carrying out the will of the Lord, even when it didn’t jive with what you’d always been taught and believed.

Joseph gives us a powerful lesson, and he deserves more than the short shrift he is usually given.

My friend said, “Let me tell you a little story I sometimes use when I’m preaching on Joseph.”

As you know, scholars believe Joseph died before Jesus began His earthly ministry because he is never mentioned again after the incident when Jesus was 12. (That would be Luke chapter 2.)

Anyway, I was thinking about what God said to Joseph when he died and arrived in Heaven.

Back when I was in college, I worked one summer on the wheat harvest.  Do you know what that is?

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Pastor, those scars on your soul are blessed of God

I bear in my body the brand-marks of Jesus.  Galatians 6:17.

We all do.

I suppose it’s a vocational hazard.

We preachers walk through the valley of the shadow with people in the church and out of it. We give them our best, weep with them, tell what we know, and offer all the encouragement we can. Then, we go on to the next thing. Someone else is needing us.

That family we ministered to, however, does not go on to anything. They are forever saddled with the loss of that child or parent. They still carry the hole in their heart and return to the empty house or sad playroom. However, there is one positive thing they will always carry with them.

They never forget how the pastor ministered to them.

He forgets.

Not because he meant to, but because after them, he was called to more hospital rooms, more funeral homes, and more counseling situations. He walked away from that family knowing he had a choice: he could leave a piece of himself with them–his heart, his soul, something–or he could close the door on that sad room in his inner sanctum in order to be able to give of himself to the next crisis.

If he leaves a piece of himself with every broken-hearted family he works with, pretty soon there’s nothing left.

So he turns it off when he walks away. He goes on to the next thing.

He hates doing that. But it’s a survival thing. It’s the only way to last in this kind of tear-your-heart-out-and-stomp-that-sucker ministry.

Case in point.

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Bludgeon thy neighbor. Oh really?

Pastor John Hewett, a friend from some years back, once attended the Carolina Panthers-Minnesota Vikings football game in Charlotte. Just outside the gates, two stern-faced men stood holding up huge signs.

“JESUS CANNOT BE YOUR SAVIOR UNLESS HE IS YOUR LORD.”

Noticing the expression on John’s face, one of the men said, “Jesus can save you.”

John said, “He already has.”

The fellow said, “You sure don’t act like it.”

Fascinating the way some Christians find one single aspect of the Christian faith and turn it into the end-all of salvation and righteousness and go to seed on it.

Thereafter, it becomes the theme of their sermons and the thrust of their conversations. If they’re Facebook friends with you, that’s all you ever read from them.

For some, it’s the KJV Bible. If you’re using anything else, you are a compromised liberal and naive to boot. Either you have been taken in by the con men in the faith or you are a scam artist yourself.

For some it’s Calvinism. Unless you cross every ‘t’ and dot every ‘i’ as they do–or Brother John himself did–you’re shallow, don’t know your Bible, and a blind leader of the blind.

I once had a deacon who had come to Christ at the age of 43 after a life of ungodly living. His conversion was dramatic and total. He went from blind to perfect vision overnight and became a zealot for the Lord.

As a new believer, he looked around the church and saw complacent, dozing members and came to the conclusion they had probably never been saved. The aspect of salvation they had missed out on, he decided, was repentance. They had never truly repented of their sin, otherwise they would be changed, transformed, made new, and on fire for the Lord.

Thereafter, repentance became his theme.

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Pastors, be above reproach. Here’s what that means.

It’s a hard lesson to learn in life, but fans of athletes and singers, actors and other television celebrities, would do well to adjust their expectations downward concerning the personal, private lives of those individuals.

The lives of very few superstars in any category will bear close inspection.

Life keeps trying to teach us this lesson, but so many in our society refuse to learn the lesson. So we are devastated when we learn the inner secrets and hidden activities of a Tiger Woods, a Michael Jackson, or an Edward Kennedy.

The reason we go on getting disappointed in such revelations is that we keep expecting other people to be better than they are.

And perhaps better than we are.

I was 18 years old when this lesson hit me up side the head. As a college freshman in Georgia and more than a little homesick, I was glad when I saw that a certain Southern gospel quartet was coming to nearby Rome for a concert. I had grown up singing their songs and had attended two or three of their programs, so this was like a little touch of home. I knew the personnel of the group and could sing most of their material along with them.

That’s why I decided to do what I did.

I left the campus early that Friday afternoon and took the bus into town.

I had decided I would hang out at the auditorium and help the quartet unload and setup. I would meet them personally, and wouldn’t that be special.

It was. In a way. The bus pulled up and my celebrities got out. They were glad to have an able-bodied youth to help carry boxes of records and set up tables. For a half-hour, I sweated alongside these singers who were the only stars in my small firmament.

And they were nice to me. No complaints there. They may have given me a record or two or maybe a free pass to the program, I don’t recall.

The one thing I do recall is the cursing.

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Your own personal parable

We have all had defining stories happen in our families and our personal lives that would make great teaching parables. They are interesting stories in themselves but they also serve as vehicles which we can load with spiritual truths and deliver to our people.

Most congregations might enjoy this kind of a diversion in your preaching. (But, everything inside me cries, “Don’t overdo it!!!”)

By the way.  We generally think of “parables” as stories made up to convey a point.  What I’m talking about here–and which I’m calling your own personal parables–are true stories.  Might need to find a different term for them. Anyway….

Here are three examples–

One.  Eugene Peterson, in his book on the Psalms, “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction,” gives one of his own parables.

He begins, “An incident took place a few years ago that has acquired the force of a parable for me.”

Peterson was in a hospital room, recovering from minor surgery on his nose which had been broken years earlier in a basketball game. The pain was great and he was in no mood for fellowship.

The young man in the next bed wanted to chat. Peterson brushed him off–his name was Kelly–but overheard him telling his visitors that evening that “the fellow in the next bed is a prizefighter. He got his nose broken in a championship fight.” Kelly proceeded to embellish it beyond that.

Later, after the company had left, Peterson told him what had actually happened and they got acquainted. When Kelly found out he was a pastor, he wanted nothing more to do with him and turned away.

The next morning, Kelly shook Peterson awake. His tonsillectomy was about to take place and he was panicking. “I want you to pray for me!” He did, and they wheeled him to surgery.

After he returned from surgery, Kelly kept ringing for the nurse. “I hurt. I can’t stand it. I’m going to die.”

“Peterson!” he kept calling, “Pray for me. Can’t you see I’m dying? Pray for me.”

The staff held him down and quietened him and after a while all was well.

Peterson writes, “When the man was scared, he wanted me to pray for him, and when the man was crazy he wanted me to pray for him, but in between, during the hours of so-called normalcy, he didn’t want anything to do with a pastor. What Kelly betrayed ‘in extremis’ is all many people know of religion: a religion to help them with their fears but that is forgotten when the fears are taken care of….”

Here’s a second parable. John Ortberg tells this in his book “The Life You’ve Always Wanted.”

Tony Campolo was about to speak at a Pentecostal college chapel service. Eight men from the school took him into an off room to pray for him. They knelt around him, laid hands upon him, and began besieging heaven.

That was good, except they prayed a long time. And as prayed, they grew tired. And as they tired, they began to lean more and more on Campolo. Eventually, he was bearing the weight of all eight of them!

To add insult to injury, one guy was not even praying for Tony.

He was interceding for somebody named Charlie Stoltzfus. “Dear Lord, you know Charlie Stoltzfus. He lives in that silver trailer down the road a mile. You know the trailer, Lord, just down the road on the right hand side.”

Tony thought about informing the guy that the Lord did not need directions to find Charlie Stoltzfus.

“Lord,” the man continued, “this morning Charlie told me he’s going to leave his wife and three kids. Step in and do something, God. Bring that family back together.”

Finally the prayers ended, Tony was able to stand to his feet, they had the chapel service, and he got in his car to drive home. Just as he was merging onto the Pennsylvania Turnpike, he noticed a hitchhiker on the side of the road and decided to give him a ride.

As they rode along, Tony introduced himself. The man stuck out his hand and said, “My name is Charlie Stoltzfus.”

Tony could not believe his ears.

At the next exit, Tony left the interstate and turned the car around. As they returned to the interstate, Charlie said, “Hey mister–where are you taking me?”

Tony said, “I’m taking you home.”

He said, “Why?”

Campolo said, “Because you just left your wife and three kids, right?”

The man was stunned. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. I did.”

He moved over against the door and never took his eyes off Campolo.

Then, when Tony drove the car right into the guy’s yard, that really did it.

His eyes bulged out. He said, “How did you know I live here?”

“The Lord told me.” (He did, Tony insists, but not the way the guy thought.)

The trailer door threw open and Charlie’s wife ran out. “You’re back! You’re back!”

Charlie whispered in her ear what had happened. The more he talked, the bigger her eyes got.

Campolo relates this story and adds, “Then I said with real authority, ‘The two of you sit down. I’m going to talk and you two are going to listen!’ And man, did they listen!”

That afternoon, he led those two young people to the Lord.

That’s a story, a real one, and a parable from which Tony Campolo draws all kinds of spiritual lessons.

What’s your parable?

Your parable is a story that has happened to you. It’s yours and no one else’s. You tell it better than anyone on earth. You are the authority on it.

Third.  Our family has a parable of our own, one we call the banana story.

I must have been 9 years old. Mom was seriously ill in the hospital in Beckley, West Virginia, and our coal miner Dad was left to look after the six children ranging in ages from 5 to 14. That Saturday morning, he had shopped for groceries at the company store, then took Glenn, the 13 year old, with him to visit Mom at the hospital.

That morning, Dad had bought a dozen bananas and left them atop the refrigerator. When he returned from the hospital, there was not a banana in the house. Dad was furious.

He called the five of us children in for an accounting.

For all but one of us, this was the first we had heard of the missing bananas. Obviously one had eaten them, but it wasn’t me and I was pretty sure it was not my sisters, Patricia 11, and Carolyn, 7. That left the 5 year old, Charlie, and the 14 year old, Ronnie.

It did not take a Sherlock Holmes to conclude Ronnie was the culprit. But why Pop did not figure this out, we never knew.

Dad announced that if the guilty party did not step forward, he was going to whip all five of us. And when he gave a whipping, it was a milestone in your life, something you would never forget.

Dad’s weapon of choice was the mining belt, some four inches wide and a half-inch think. It left a red path across your body.

The younger children started crying immediately. But Dad had no compassion. That day, he whipped all five of us.

He never did find out who had eaten the bananas.

Well, not for many years. From time to time, after we were grown and would all be together, someone would bring up the case of the purloined bananas. Finally, we must have been in our 30s, Ronnie owned up to it.

“A friend and I had come in and we saw those bananas,” he said. They ate one each, then another, and pretty soon there were none left. “I was going to admit it until I saw how mad Pop was.”

He said, “I figured better to spread the whipping out among five than take all of it on myself.”

No one agreed with that judgment, you will not be surprised to know.

Before making the application–all parables must have appropriate applications and lessons, otherwise they’re meaningless stories–let me point out that our Dad mellowed over the years and developed far more compassion than he showed that day. My assessment is that he was under enormous stress. Mom was not far from the point of death, we were to find out later, and his fear had to be incredible.

My dad was a conservative in a hundred ways. A conservative would rather punish four innocent people than let one guilty go free. A liberal, on the other hand, would rather allow four guilty to go free than punish one innocent person.

That’s my application of that story, and when I’ve used it in a sermon, it was as an introduction to preaching about liberals and conservatives (the Sadducees and Pharisees in the New Testament).

Of course, our brother Ron, a Baptist preacher in Birmingham, had forever stigmatized himself by that banana incident. When he turned 70, we all met him and his wife Dorothy at a Birmingham restaurant. As we walked in, each one of us was carrying a dozen bananas. He takes it in good humor and we all laugh at it now.

What’s your story, your parable?  If you cannot think of one, ask your siblings, your children, your spouse.  Because every family has them.

10 things about Christmas you may have missed

They were not “kings” from the east and there wasn’t three of them. And when they arrived in Bethlehem, Joseph and Mary and Baby Jesus were not still in the stable, but in a house, contrary to half the Christmas cards that will be arriving at your house.

And there’s no indication there were cattle in that stable or anywhere nearby. In fact, the only thing that leads us to believe Jesus was born in a stable is that Luke 2:7 tells us Mary laid the Baby in a manger, a feeding trough.

But you knew all this.

And you knew that all of this was predicted through the centuries by God’s prophets. We particularly treasure the promises of Isaiah 7:17 (“Behold a virgin shall conceive….”) and 9:6-7 (“For unto us a child is born….”), as well as Micah 5:2 (“Bethlehem…out of you shall come forth One to be Ruler over Israel…”).

And you knew that, contrary to the Christmas hymn “The First Noel,” the shepherds in Bethlehem’s fields did not “looked up and saw a star shining in the East beyond them far.” (Modern hymnals have revised that line to read “For all to see there was a star….”)

But, allow me to point out some aspects of this wonderful story it’s possible you might have missed. There is no particular order intended.

1. Joseph has no speaking lines.

This man who was to become the earthly father of our Lord Jesus was a man of action. He heard and he obeyed.

A mother called the school to inform the teacher that her son had a bad cold and would be unable to play Joseph in the Nativity play later that morning. It was too late to replace him, so they did the play without Joseph.

No one noticed.

2. Mary is a deep thinker.

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Make Jesus proud of you

When the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on earth? (Luke 18:8)

What Jesus was looking for — was when He walked the dusty roads of Galilee and still today — is faith. Nothing touches His heart like encountering someone who believes in Him and accepts that He is the Son of the living God. “Without faith it is impossible to please God,” we read in Hebrews 11:6.

That’s the point.

Four men heard Jesus was in the little house down the road and sprang into action. For days, they had been waiting on this moment. They hurried down to their friend’s house and loaded him onto a pallet. (I call it a pallet. It could have been something as simple as a quilt.) Each grabbed a corner and they hoisted up their paralyzed colleague and proceeded out the door and down the road. Today, their friend would meet Jesus the Healer.

Arriving at the house, they ran into a problem. The place was packed out. People were stuffed into the doorways and hanging out the windows. No one made any move toward opening a way into the house for them.

Okay.  They had to do something.  Waiting until the Lord ended His teaching inside was not an option.  Paralyzed people have needs.  And those caring for them need to act promptly.

The four men, still bearing their burden of love, walked around the side of the house and up the outside stairs to the roof. (Note: Some may need reminding that in that part of the world, homes were constructed with flat tops so that on hot nights, family could sleep outside for coolness and atop the house for safety. If they had guests, the roof functioned as an extra bedroom.)

They laid the man down and proceeded to tearing into the roof.

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The day your church begins to die

My preacher friend lives in a new home provided by the ministry he heads. “They had to tear down the old one,” he told me. “Mildew was everywhere and after years of trying to cure it, they gave up.”

A friend in that city told me the previous tenants–my friend’s predecessor and his family–were constantly sick for no reason anyone could find. Workers repainted the interior of the house every year.

“When they tore the house down, they found the culprit. There was a pipe underneath the house–not in any of the architect’s original drawings–that was constantly leaking water into the foundation.”

The minister said, “At one point, in an attempt to cure the problem, the ministry head had storm windows installed throughout the house. He was sealing the house, but it had the opposite effect of what he intended.”

“An architect told me, ‘That day the house began to die. With the windows sealed, it could no longer breathe.”

The day the house began to die.

An intriguing line.

Churches also begin to die when they can no longer breathe.

I’ve seen churches die, and I’ve seen them in the process of dying. The culprit–the killer, the perpetrator, the murderer–is suffocation. An inability to breathe.

1. Churches begin to suffocate when they no longer welcome change.

Change is life. Our bodies are always in the process of sloughing off old dead cells and replacing them with new ones.

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