Joe McKeever

Bad News -- Why We Love It

An article in the March 16, 2009, issue of a popular newsweekly (I'd say "Newsweek" but don't want to send some of my friends into a frenzy of righteous indignation! Ha) bemoans the recent passing of financial experts, due to the economic mess our country -- and the entire world -- is experiencing.

"One of the not inconsiderable side effects of the current economic meltdown is the demise of the economic expert, if experts they truly ever were." -- Joseph Epstein

I remember hearing a fellow say a couple of years back, "America is the only country in the world where a fellow drives downtown in a Cadillac to take financial advice from a guy who rode the bus to work that morning."

No more. After one loses his shirt -- or, in the case of Warren Buffett and Bill Gates, a few billions -- he learns not to trust the experts and authorities, no matter how firm their promises, reliable their sources, and sweeping their confidence.

After reading two or three books recently on Franklin D. Roosevelt's early days in the White House, I don't recall who said this, but one feature of FDR's presidency was his complete distrust of experts. He would listen to them, put little stock in what they advised, then would go with his gut, as they say. Often that meant doing the opposite of what the experts counseled.

One writer said Roosevelt acquired that skepticism as a result of his polio. When he did everything the medical experts ordered, he grew weaker and weaker. Finally, taking matters into his own hands and trusting his instincts in matters of his mobility and conditioning, he ended up having a productive political career, against all expectations of his medical experts.

This is the place where we should drop in some humorous definitions for experts. Since all I know are ancient and stale, excuse me for passing. (If you know a good, recent one, leave it as a "comment" at the conclusion.)

Louis Rukeyser was the original "expert" on television's Wall Street Week, from a generation ago. For some reason, back then he pretty much had the field to himself. These days, the channels giving financial news and advice are as numerous as the sports stations.

Speaking before a chamber of commerce meeting in Jackson, Mississippi, Rukeyser made a point I've never forgotten. If you write a book predicting that the economy is going to keep growing and the Dow Jones Average climbing, no one will buy it. People figure, if everything is going to be fine, my investments will come out all right and I don't need the book.

However, he said, write a book on the coming disaster, telling how the bottom is going to drop out, and your book will sell like snow-cones on a sultry summer day in New Orleans. The reason for this, Rukeyser explained, is if the economy is going to tank, the investor will want to plan for it and find ways to protect himself.

That's why bad-news prognosticators in financial matters proliferate, and good news prophets are dismissed as naïve and shallow.

A cartoon in a recent New Yorker magazine -- source of the best cartoons since forever -- has the television guy announcing, "The stock market fell today on economic news that the stock market fell today."

Bad news becomes self-perpetuating. Self-fulfilling prophecies.

I sat across the table from a minister who had confessed to some things he had no business being involved in. He seemed to be penitent and properly ashamed and we were discussing what he needed to do in order to regain the trust of God's people.

At one point, he said, "What I don't understand is that the people in the church are spreading this. They can't seem to get enough of it and want more and more details."

What I said was, "It's human nature, my friend. You're a pastor and nothing about that should surprise you."

What I thought was, "It's the down side of human nature. The lower nature of man -- the unregenerate aspect of humanity -- feeds off bad news."

It was Alice Roosevelt Longworth, eldest child of Theodore Roosevelt, who quipped, "If you can't say anything good about someone, come over here and sit down beside me!"

We feed off bad news.

In flipping across a hundred television channels, I am amazed at the number of stations which send out endless stories about deaths and murders and tragedies and police investigations into them. An equal number is devoted to the tabloid aspects of celebrities' lives. What has Lindsey Lohan done recently? Paris Hilton? J-Lo and Brad Pitt and Angeline Jolie and Johnny Depp and Rihanna?

Look at the tabloid weeklies at the checkouts in your local grocery store. Here are photos and stories of celebs who have had botched plastic surgery, put on enormous extra weight, cheated on their spouses, and been arrested for everything from shoplifting to murder.

Write a story on the way Brad Pitt has helped to rebuild the Lower Ninth Ward of New Orleans -- he has -- and it will show up in Architectural Digest, where it's guaranteed to be read by an audience numbering in the hundreds. Write about George Clooney's work in Darfur and readers grow bored. That is not the kind of stuff they're looking for. They want the "good stuff," the garbage.

Scavengers. Picking over the carcasses of those whom we have slain.

The fascination with Princess Diana continues. And for that matter, Marilyn Monroe and Elvis, too.

Lord, help us. What is wrong with us!

We can understand the lost of this world -- those without a moral compass or the Holy Spirit or the Inspired Word to guide their steps -- we can understand their preoccupation with this stuff. Such people read it and come away thinking, "I'm not so bad. Those people are worse than me."

But not God's people, the ones Jesus called "Children of the Light" (Luke 16:8). He expects us to have higher sights for our lives, better appetites for our souls, purer direction and deeper love and stronger values.

We are to be better than that.

"If we say we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin." (I John 1:6-7)

This is an afterthought—

A couple hours after writing the above, I found a cute thing in the April 2009 issue of “The Atlantic.” On the “What’s Your Problem?” page inside the back cover, Jeffrey Goldberg answers serious questions humorously.

The question from Donald Ng in Fremont, California, relates to our subject today: “How do you spot a fake financial expert? If his offer sounded too good to be true, we’d ignore him, but what if he sounds credible? In this economy, I think many people will be susceptible to financial snake oil.”

Goldberg answers: “Dear Donald: Fake financial experts include everyone who has in the past 10 years represented themselves as financial experts. Please do not worry: many otherwise clever people have fallen for their snake oil.”

He continues: “I would like to note that oil taken from Chinese water snakes is rich in Eicosapentaenoic acid, an omega-3 fatty acid that leading scientists believe can relieve chronic joint pain. Snake oil represents, in today’s market, a superior investment to most commercially available financial products. If you would like to purchase my revolutionary DVD explaining how to profit from this all-natural healing ointment from the comfort of your own home, e-mail me at the address below and we’ll set you up with an introductory-rate E-Z Pay Plan via Western Union. Also, send me your social security number, for account verification.”

Note to Ginger: It’s a joke.